Friday, September 16, 2011

Betrayed


“Anna?”

She flinched: “Um, what?”

L was bending over her, his flawless face smiling.

“You all right? I was asking if you’re ready to get going.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Let’s move.”

“Okay, let’s go then.”

She stood up and froze the brave-and up-to-anything expression on her face, smiling and speaking lightly when they said goodbye to the other two.

She hugged her sister and smiled to Pierre. They wished each other good luck and waved goodbye for the last time before heading in the opposite directions.

Catching up with his step she pretended to walk lightly beside L. They spoke a few words about the task at hand, but as they fell silent, her insides crumpled while she was struggling not to show it.

She was walking almost blind, anger fighting with disappointment and sadness. Asking her if she was all right! The treacherous bastard!

She could still see the image from the previous evening in her head. That cold, pale witch all over him. Those scarlet lips just inches from his, whispering something inaudible. And he, lifting her chin up to him, looking straight into her eyes, answering her, laughing.

Something in her chest hurt, burnt. He had lied to her about what he was after. She could forgive him for that. But he must have lied about his feelings for her, too. How could she bear that?

Her legs felt weak, but she kept going, straight on, unwavering. L did not seem to notice anything.

Tears welled in her eyes. Her throat hurt. She wanted to scream of the pain bursting inside her. But she’d be damned if she let him see her hurting. She swallowed hard, blinked a few times, and walked on.

 

This post is a response to Red Writing Hood, a weekly writing meme hosted at Write On Edge (formerly The Red Dress Club). This week's prompt was: write a piece where you explore the first broken heart for your character – or for you.

I haven’t done a Red Writing Hood post for ages, mostly because I tend to miss prompts on Wednesday and when I see it on Thursday I usually don’t have enough time to write it.

The above story is most probably going to be a part of a fantasy/adventure love story I’m working on. It will come up somewhere in the second half of it, I think, but I still have some other things to cover to come to it. Nevertheless, this prompt was very inspiring in planning the story further ahead.

5 comments:

  1. Looking forward to reading more!

    Amy

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  2. Oh, the betrayal! And having to act normal...ugh. Good for her for putting on the brave face! I'd definitely love to read more of this story if it does develop into something more.

    Stopping by from WOE.

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  3. I LOVE how you're using this to push a WIP forward! And that heartbreak, and the inner gumption to not show her pain? Impressive. And painful. You definitely let her emotions {and turmoil} shine through!

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  4. This piece raises more questions than it answers, obviously, but now that I read it's a jumping in point for a future project? I'm glad.

    My only critique is a tiny one. My eyes get caught on the letter L as a name. It stopped me cold every time and broke the otherwise consistent pace of your prose.

    Hope to see more of your WIP as it progresses!

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  5. Thanks, everyone!

    I agree it's confusing, because it is really a jump ahead. Like I said, I felt inspired by the prompt to plan the story further and it's a long way to get there, so it is completely out of context.

    @ CDG: I agree, just L is bothersome when taken as such, but I have a reason for shortening it to just one letter (I hope to get to post that part some day), and perhaps I will still change it - however, the name or better said the lack of it is an essential part of his character. Thanks for pointing it out, anyway, it gives me a perspective about how someone who does not know anything else but this part sees it.

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Don't hesitate to drop me a few strange new words! I'd love to hear what you think!

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