tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post4557389790732409126..comments2023-09-28T15:15:38.478+02:00Comments on Beyond Strange New Words: ConfiscationJo Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17041818732931215491noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-31139035538497253302011-04-09T08:57:07.199+02:002011-04-09T08:57:07.199+02:00Thanks everyone!
@ Mandyland: I agree, will do be...Thanks everyone!<br /><br />@ Mandyland: I agree, will do better next time. I've learned a lot from my mistake here. <br /><br />@ Erin: I've got trouble running as it is, tripping on flat ground, let alone skirts and woods:)Jo Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00917704326736252690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-17303754401484874902011-04-09T07:00:48.871+02:002011-04-09T07:00:48.871+02:00Love the story! I could so see her running with he...Love the story! I could so see her running with her skirt high! Have you ever tried to run in those skirts?Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10395153992892479101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-43909668838589826442011-04-09T05:40:38.673+02:002011-04-09T05:40:38.673+02:00Awesome job! As someone to whom the word limit is ...Awesome job! As someone to whom the word limit is kryptonite, I have to agree with JenB and Kim. Try starting with the action and then flashing to brief descriptions.<br /><br />"She lifted her skirts high and ran through the wood, slipping now and then, falling once, but ever lurching forward and down the steep slopes." - This is such a vivid scene. LOVED the visual. If you'd started with this and then continued it with some flashes to let us know why she was running, it would have rushed us through.<br /><br />LOVE the story and cannot WAIT to read more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-44379187099250521012011-04-08T18:18:21.192+02:002011-04-08T18:18:21.192+02:00Not sure if my first one went through or if I miss...Not sure if my first one went through or if I missed word verification...!<br /><br />Yes, you're right in that previous comment, you should start it with her running through the forest. This may give you more room to tell us who these people are/why they're taking her things, and to not rush through the end.<br /><br />Still, well done and I really want to know more!MrsJenBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10210080304270799102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-29559599623193078502011-04-08T15:02:39.165+02:002011-04-08T15:02:39.165+02:00Really good writing! Even if it was in a rush. I w...Really good writing! Even if it was in a rush. I would have liked a bit more scene setting especially since this was an era piece. REally well done though!Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01564542013071462911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-76710057330545612752011-04-08T12:35:18.149+02:002011-04-08T12:35:18.149+02:00@ Barbara: I agree, I had a somewhat more elaborat...@ Barbara: I agree, I had a somewhat more elaborated resolution on my mind, but the word limit forced me to cut it short. Perhaps I should alter the beginning instead, maybe start with her running through the forest. <br /><br />See, now I'm getting the ideas:), thanks to you. That happens when writing in a rush. Well, it will be better next time.Jo Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00917704326736252690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591212467365219458.post-13150744420343499962011-04-08T12:25:45.187+02:002011-04-08T12:25:45.187+02:00It was a good story but I felt like the resolution...It was a good story but I felt like the resolution was too rushed. I'm stopping by from the RDCBarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13311088408907148236noreply@blogger.com